Channel Surfing
Directions: Imagine that you are sitting on the couch, remote control in hand, and are surfing between channels. As you go by each channel, you get bits and pieces of what is being said on the television program. The person speaking on one channel finishes the person's line from the previous channel. In groups of three, you are to create a skit, similar to the one below, using any three broadcasters you choose (if you think I won’t approve of it, don’t use it). Don’t be vulgar, but it should be funny! Make sure each part meshes smoothly into the next. Each speaker should have at least 10 lines (not skimpy). Use props--bring something from outside the classroom. Your prop should reflect thought, not something that was brought in or created at the last minute. You may not borrow something from my room unless it is arranged with me in advance.
EXAMPLE: Broadcasters are: a zookeeper, a schoolteacher, and a first aider.
Zookeeper: This morning, ladies and gentlemen, our roving microphone is at the zoo. Now, the first thing you hear as you enter the gate are roaring sounds coming from
School Teacher: the staff room, where all the teachers gather for lunch. When you go there, you should knock, wait for a teacher to appear, and
First Aider: grip her firmly by the chin, pinch her nostrils, and force a pencil between her jaws; otherwise
Zookeeper: they seize the nearest hunk of meat – so keep well back. That man who is throwing in the meat is called the
School Teacher: principal, because he’s in charge. His office is usually full of
First Aider: groaning victims who have suffered all sorts of injuries. Some of them have broken bones. In this case, treatment is to give them
Zookeeper: peanuts, but never anything else, otherwise their teeth rot and
School Teacher: scatter all over the playground. If you have nothing else to do, you should pick up handfuls of them and pop them in the nearest garbage can, because if everyone did this, there would be no need for
First Aider: brain surgery. This is the doctor’s job. Of course, if you find they complain of severe headaches and
Zookeeper: their tails are lashing from side to side, call the nearest
School Teacher: student council representative, who will make sure that every one gets a fair deal. If you don’t happen to like that particular representative,
First Aider: apply a tight bandage where you think it will do most good, loosen his tie, or cut it off, and force his head down between his knees until
Zookeeper: the eyes roll and a soft purring sound comes from the back of the throat. When this happens
School Teacher: the whole school will assemble and sing the school song. Then the valedictorian will rise and give her first
First Aider: signs of wanting to vomit. Don’t cry to prevent this – it will do her good. When she has finished, offer her hot water bottles and advise her to rest quietly on
Zookeeper: a flat rock, preferably close to a mud hole into which she can drop when she begins to feel too warm. Notice all the old scars on her skin? That’s where the
School Teacher: teachers have been gently prodding. His or her job is to make sure nobody gets lazy about his or her schoolwork. Don’t you get lazy or you will swiftly find yourself
First Aider: gripped by a large pair of forceps, yanked out, and dropped into the nearest garbage can out of harm’s way. When finished
Zookeeper: clean the floor by scrapping up any old bones or fur and dusting with DDT powder for fleas, after which there is a perfectly clean spot for the next
School Teacher: pupil to work at. When the teacher comes round to inspect your books,
First Aider: tear a strip off his shirt and rip open his collar, then grunt, jump up an down and beat his chest with both fists. This is a sign of
School Teacher: intelligence. The teacher will probably give you a pat on
First Aider: the nearest artery. Get someone else to put his mouth right down on
Zookeeper: the cage floor and snuffle around to pick up anything good for eating with the long front fangs. That’s how most of the food is found and taken into the
School Teacher: Home Economics room, where succulent dishes are prepared and then
First Aider: sucked up into the mouth, gargled around and
Zookeeper: fed to the elephants. But our time’s up for today, so till tomorrow morning, this is your roving microphone in
School Teacher: the biggest custard tart you’ve ever seen. Now we must be off to
First Aider: rinse out all the bandages and mop up all the blood.
Zookeeper: Goodbye for now ladies and gentlemen, have a
School Teacher: happy
First Aider: accident.
District 145 Public Schools
and
Educational Service Unit #6, Milford, Nebraska
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